I have a dear friend who's been traveling for business a lot the past couple of months. With more travel in the near future, and she said something that triggered this post. I hope she doesn't mind if I post it here:
"Mommy guilt has driven me to make a reservation for Big Bird's Birthday Bash at two on Sunday after coming in at five a.m.that morning..."
Mommy guilt is powerful. I'm struggling with it myself, as we speak. Poor little E had some shots yesterday, the Measles, and the Mumps. And she was not herself last night. But today is a new day, so I was hoping for the best. When you're a working mom, in March, of a long winter, with a 16 month old, and you look at your days missed of work. It forces you to hope EACH day is a NEW day. And that you can somehow push forward. Out of work 14.5 days. Between half days, and sick days, and "vacation days", I've missed over 2 weeks of work. HOW is that possible?
So off little E went today. And then it happened, you know, the same thing that's been happening for MONTHS now... "the call". Temperature of 101.6. We get the benefit of the doubt today, because E had her shots yesterday. And it's clear on the sheet that a temperature is a side effect of the shots. But, what about the RED EAR, the dr had noticed yesterday.
So drs have been called, day cares have been checked in with, managers have been put "on notice". And now E is napping at daycare, and Mommy is just waiting. And thinking. And feeling guilty. There is nothing I want, like I want to run out of here, and go get my clingy, needy, not feeling 100% little girl. But then I look at my work calendar and remember, 14.5 days.
And so... here I sit...