Sunday, February 7, 2010


Not mothers as in myself, but mothers as in my mother. I haven't always been very close with my mother. I was when I was younger, and then as a pre-teen and teen, rebellion and independence drove me away. But even as a young adult, I already began to understand the importance of my relationship with my mother. And since I first left home for college over 12 years ago, I became very close with my mother. But never, have I truly appreciated her importance to me, as I do now, as I have become a mother myself.

Shortly after I became pregnant with E I noticed that my phone bill had increase dramatically. Although my mother does not live far from me it still qualifies (according to the phone company) as a long distance phone call. So beginning to realize that the phone calls to my mother were only likely to increase, I signed up for unlimited long distance. And what a good decision that was. I think I call my mother 3 - 4 times a day sometimes now. Sure, there is a day here and there when it is only once, but rarely do I not call her at all. And the support, guidance, encouragement and love that she gives me are worth every penny of the unlimited long distance.

I call her at least once a day to give her the report of what the night before was like. Did E sleep. How long, how many times did she get, how long was she up, how much did I sleep. And sometimes I'll call her in the afternoon to let her know how the afternoon nap went. Or I'll call her because E did something new, or the poop looked weird, or E did something strange, or acted strange, or sounded strange, or looked strange. I call my mom over everything.

And my mom always has something to say about everything that I call about. It's always encouraging, never alarming, and sometimes funny. She keeps me grounded in a time when I feel as though without someone tugging me back to earth I'd be floating away into outer space because of all the uncertainty and confusion surrounding my life right now. She lets me know what's normal, points out what's PROBABLY normal, and assures me when I think we've found something that might not be normal and it's time to talk to a Dr. But she's there.

And not just on the phone. She's the person I call when I slept for 2.5 hours the night before, and am not sure how I'll make it through the day. She's the person who comes down when I need to get out of the house. And she's the person who comes with me if I want to bring E and have help getting out of the house. She's the person who brought me lunch in the beginning when I couldn't figure out how to care for E and care for myself, and the person who reminded me that I needed to give my own needs a priority as well.

So as I've become a mother, and even more a mother to a daughter, I see my mother in a new light. I appreciate all she did for me when I was a child, and I appreciate all that she does for me now that I have a child, and can only hope that I can be as kind, patient and supportive when it is time for me to be in the same roll with E. Now as a mother, and someday, as a mother of a mother.

Today is dedicated to the Mothers. I hope everyone appreciates what their mothers have given them and remember that they can be a strong support and resource in their lives. But still, does anyone know who dropped the pacifier?

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