Too much... too soon...

For Mommy that is.  It seems like my little baby E has done way too much growing up in the last 7 days.  Much to my great relief E has given up the pacifier.  It was virtual a non-event.  A day or two of some sabotaging and replacing "Binky" with "Blankie", and E is walking tall.  I think I could have handled this change, at least better, if it was the only one. 

But then this week she's also started making progress in potty training.  It's not something we're working very hard at.  But it's a part of her bed time routine now.  Dinner -> Potty -> Bath -> Bed.  And it's been working.  She uses the potty before bath about 75% of the time, if not more.  And last night, was no different.  She used the potty.  And then we were getting ready for bath.  I scooped E up and put her in the bath tub, and for a totally inexplicable reason she started SCREAMING at me, and crying.  I checked the water (urgently), was it to hot?  no.  What was wrong!?  She was standing there, trying to get out of the bathtub.  Calmly, I was asking her what was wrong.  And then, standing there, she looked down.  And started going peepee in the bathtub!  My heart broke, she looked at me, so dismayed.  I guess she hadn't gotten all her business done!  And she was thoroughly distraught over the fact she KNEW she WANTED to use the potty, but I had her in the bathtub!  I wanted to cry.  I kept going, I'm sorry honey, it's ok, if you have to go, you just need to tell mommy!  "Peepee", or "Potty".  She doesn't say the words.  No matter how often we try to help her say them.  All the words she says, those are not 2 that she's ready to have in her vocabulary.  Knowing that she understand what the feeling is, and the consequences of those feelings, and the need to be ON the potty when you have them.  Was overwhelming for me.  E is not even 18 months old.  She's "too young" to potty train.  But she's shown signs that she's ready, so we try to offer her the opportunity without any force.

Anyway - as though giving up Binky, and using the Potty were NOT enough. 

When E gave up Binky this weekend, she started toting around a stuffed puppy, and Blankie.  This seemed like a reasonable trade.  And since last Friday, Puppy and Blankie have gone to daycare with her.  But my to my amazement this morning, she insisted on going back upstairs, right before we left the house, and placing them in her crib.

So now, she's not only Binky free, but lovey free.  And I'm just not sure how I feel about it.  I know she'll want to go get Blankie and Puppy when we get home from daycare.  But the fact that she didn't want to take them with her, really hit home for me.

What happened to my baby?  I love her more than life itself, and enjoy every second with her.  But sometimes I just look, and think, there was a time, when I couldn't get off the couch, for all you wanted was to sleep in my arms.  I could hold you for hours, and stroke your sweet face, and snuggle you close, and keep you warm.

But now you're a little girl.  And I'm so proud, but it still makes my heart ache.

Some of my friends would say:  "Guess it's time for another one".  Maybe someday, till then, I'll just have to adjust to my little girl.