So it's been one of these weeks. And once again I find it to be Friday. Anyone from the East Coast knows we had a massive snow storm on Wednesday, so we had that to contend with, and although I haven't mentioned it, I've also been battling my own demons. Returning to work.
I consider myself luckier than most women. My company has very good maternity leave policies, and consequently I have been lucky enough to spend the first 18 weeks of E's life by her side. Not all paid, but worth every last lost penny. As much as I have cherished these moments, and realize she has changed in so many ways, I have not lost sight of the fact that my time is limited, and alas, it is almost up. I have 2 more weeks home with E, and then I have to return to work. I have struggled with this. As with most moms, we can not afford to be a one income family, and I knew that before we even thought about having E, but I didn't want to wait until I was 40 just to have our first child and be able to stay at home permanently with her. Everyone in major metropolitan areas deals with similar struggles, and "everyone does it" so surely I could handle having my first sweet little girl, and then returning to work.
No matter how much I tried to mentally prepare myself for how I would feel about this. Knowing, that I would struggle with it. I still wasn't even remotely prepared with how much angst I would endure over the approaching date.
As I've been blogging over the past month or two, you all know that E has been struggling in so many ways. And the idea of leaving her in someone else's care, just broke my heart. Grandma has been out of work since the economy went south over a year ago, and consequently has been around extensively throughout my maternity leave. But now as I approach returning to work, Grandma is also about to return to work. This disappointed me immensely. I felt like a horrible daughter, but I wanted her available. She was the only person that I could imagine would love her enough to get her through all the things she was struggling with. But Grandma has been poking and prodding me out into the world, to try to pick a daycare center. Since Grandma knew it was likely that she would be unavailable, she knew it was time for me to deal with this very difficult step.
So starting last week, we began embarking on the "adventure" of touring daycare centers. I felt a little bit like Goldy Locks. This daycare is too big. This daycare is too small. This daycare is too expensive. Desperately seeking "just right". Struggling with what was most important, what were the things I needed most out of a daycare center. I think I've settled upon one. It was one I had toured well before I had E. I had loved the center then, and I still loved it now. It's large drawback was price. But every time I toured their center, I walked away saying "I just got a good feeling. I REALLY liked the people." And on top of it, they had a fabulous teacher in the Infant room, a woman with 10 years experience with Infants. When I brought E with us to meet her, she was the sort of person that just exuded confidence. She dealt with the children she had with ease, and you could just tell she knew what she was doing. She told me how she intended to call me personally should there be any problems. That if she thought E was coming down with something, she'd call me and we could discuss what I wanted to do. She made me feel comfortable. And that was that. I couldn't bring E anywhere else. I literally WANTED this woman to take care of E.
While I was struggling with this decision. Oddly enough I was seeing something different in E. Curiosity. Excitement. Dare I say Joy? She was fascinated by meeting all of the other people in the world. And seeing other little people just tickled her pink. She'd smile at all these new people. And laugh when they talked to her. She'd look at the other small children and study them, smile at them, and look longingly at them. I could tell she was at a point where this idea of another world outside of our home was interesting to her. And in many ways it broke my heart. I began to feel in my sleep deprived state I just couldn't give her all the excitement that she wanted. Alas - she found me - BORING! Oh well. Just as well. She was going to have to go to daycare anyway, so she might as well find it marginally interesting.
So next week E is going for a test run. And if it goes well, we're going to start her a week early, only for a couple of days. Let Mommy and Daddy get used to dropping her off, leaving her there, and E get used to us leaving and coming back. Not to mention Mommy needs to get things in order to return to work. I spent the day today starting to get things put together so that E has what she needs to go to daycare.
My mom sent me the most touching e-mail last week. And she hit it right on the money, this was the first step of E's to move away from me and find her independence. It's heart wrenching for me. But it's the natural progression of things. I suppose I will find this just as difficult as the first time she calls out for Daddy instead of Mommy. When I realize she's embarrassed of me. When she goes away to college. And finally when she springs out on her own with her own family. But I will remember what has happened with my mother and I. And remember that she may need to move away to gain her own independence. But one day, the adventures that she and I are about to embark upon, will give me the knowledge, to help guide her through the same experiences with her children.
Stay strong working Mommies and Daddies. Remember that nobody will love them like we do. And that's ok. But anyway - did anyone see who dropped the pacifier?
Friday, February 12, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Strange Cry
This post will be brief, but will likely give you some laughs. So last night was Monday, and as I mentioned last Monday Daddy will be MIA on Monday's for a few months. So I embarked on the bedtime routine alone once again. E was getting a little cranky as we approached 6:30 so I decided to put her down a little early. I have been pondering if this would help her sleep through the night better, as I have heard sometimes it works. Seems backwards, but I thought I would give it a try. So we went up a little after 6:30. Diaper change: Check. Swaddle: Check. Bottle: Check. Rock: Check. In the Crib Drowsy: Check. And I was back downstairs by 10 of 7. It seemed highly unlikely that this would work. It was to easy. And she'd only taken a couple ounces of her bottle. Every now and then I would hear a little moan, and that was it. She went to bed, and stayed asleep. 8 o'clock came, 9 o'clock came (daddy came home), 10 o'clock came. And then it happened. The strange cry.
At about 10:30, while Mommy and Daddy were catching up and getting ready for bed we heard the STRANGEST cry over the baby monitor. It took a minute for us to realize what we were hearing. It happened 3 times, LOUD as could be. And like I said: STRANGE. And then BOTH Mommy's and Daddy's eyes got HUGE.
OUR CAT!
We flipped on the video monitor, and got a small relief NOT to see him in the crib, but as loud as that cry was, we were rather certain he was in the nursery. Someplace, he KNOWS he is not allowed to go. As his cries ring out through the house, and clear as day over the baby monitor. E starts to toss and turn, whip her head back and forth.
Daddy RUNS through the house to the nursery and then tip toes through the room, looking under furniture and around corners to find where he was hiding. Finally, the guilty party was located behind the rocking chair. Daddy grabbed him and ran out of the nursery, closing the door behind him.
Back safely in the master bedroom, we again flipped on the baby monitor, contemplating having to kill the cat, we watched her toss, and turn, and whip her head from side to side. And then, she let out a really big sigh. And stopped. The crisis had been avoided. We did NOT have to kill the cat. So back to sleep E went. And Mommy and Daddy joined her.
In case anyone is wondering, E slept until 5 AM this morning. So it was a fabulous night. Maybe we'll try another early bedtime and see if she can repeat it.
I think that's enough laughs for this morning. Don't forget to keep the pets out! And as I ponder several times, every day now: "Who dropped the pacifier?"
At about 10:30, while Mommy and Daddy were catching up and getting ready for bed we heard the STRANGEST cry over the baby monitor. It took a minute for us to realize what we were hearing. It happened 3 times, LOUD as could be. And like I said: STRANGE. And then BOTH Mommy's and Daddy's eyes got HUGE.
OUR CAT!
We flipped on the video monitor, and got a small relief NOT to see him in the crib, but as loud as that cry was, we were rather certain he was in the nursery. Someplace, he KNOWS he is not allowed to go. As his cries ring out through the house, and clear as day over the baby monitor. E starts to toss and turn, whip her head back and forth.
Daddy RUNS through the house to the nursery and then tip toes through the room, looking under furniture and around corners to find where he was hiding. Finally, the guilty party was located behind the rocking chair. Daddy grabbed him and ran out of the nursery, closing the door behind him.
Back safely in the master bedroom, we again flipped on the baby monitor, contemplating having to kill the cat, we watched her toss, and turn, and whip her head from side to side. And then, she let out a really big sigh. And stopped. The crisis had been avoided. We did NOT have to kill the cat. So back to sleep E went. And Mommy and Daddy joined her.
In case anyone is wondering, E slept until 5 AM this morning. So it was a fabulous night. Maybe we'll try another early bedtime and see if she can repeat it.
I think that's enough laughs for this morning. Don't forget to keep the pets out! And as I ponder several times, every day now: "Who dropped the pacifier?"
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Mothers
Not mothers as in myself, but mothers as in my mother. I haven't always been very close with my mother. I was when I was younger, and then as a pre-teen and teen, rebellion and independence drove me away. But even as a young adult, I already began to understand the importance of my relationship with my mother. And since I first left home for college over 12 years ago, I became very close with my mother. But never, have I truly appreciated her importance to me, as I do now, as I have become a mother myself.
Shortly after I became pregnant with E I noticed that my phone bill had increase dramatically. Although my mother does not live far from me it still qualifies (according to the phone company) as a long distance phone call. So beginning to realize that the phone calls to my mother were only likely to increase, I signed up for unlimited long distance. And what a good decision that was. I think I call my mother 3 - 4 times a day sometimes now. Sure, there is a day here and there when it is only once, but rarely do I not call her at all. And the support, guidance, encouragement and love that she gives me are worth every penny of the unlimited long distance.
I call her at least once a day to give her the report of what the night before was like. Did E sleep. How long, how many times did she get, how long was she up, how much did I sleep. And sometimes I'll call her in the afternoon to let her know how the afternoon nap went. Or I'll call her because E did something new, or the poop looked weird, or E did something strange, or acted strange, or sounded strange, or looked strange. I call my mom over everything.
And my mom always has something to say about everything that I call about. It's always encouraging, never alarming, and sometimes funny. She keeps me grounded in a time when I feel as though without someone tugging me back to earth I'd be floating away into outer space because of all the uncertainty and confusion surrounding my life right now. She lets me know what's normal, points out what's PROBABLY normal, and assures me when I think we've found something that might not be normal and it's time to talk to a Dr. But she's there.
And not just on the phone. She's the person I call when I slept for 2.5 hours the night before, and am not sure how I'll make it through the day. She's the person who comes down when I need to get out of the house. And she's the person who comes with me if I want to bring E and have help getting out of the house. She's the person who brought me lunch in the beginning when I couldn't figure out how to care for E and care for myself, and the person who reminded me that I needed to give my own needs a priority as well.
So as I've become a mother, and even more a mother to a daughter, I see my mother in a new light. I appreciate all she did for me when I was a child, and I appreciate all that she does for me now that I have a child, and can only hope that I can be as kind, patient and supportive when it is time for me to be in the same roll with E. Now as a mother, and someday, as a mother of a mother.
Today is dedicated to the Mothers. I hope everyone appreciates what their mothers have given them and remember that they can be a strong support and resource in their lives. But still, does anyone know who dropped the pacifier?
Shortly after I became pregnant with E I noticed that my phone bill had increase dramatically. Although my mother does not live far from me it still qualifies (according to the phone company) as a long distance phone call. So beginning to realize that the phone calls to my mother were only likely to increase, I signed up for unlimited long distance. And what a good decision that was. I think I call my mother 3 - 4 times a day sometimes now. Sure, there is a day here and there when it is only once, but rarely do I not call her at all. And the support, guidance, encouragement and love that she gives me are worth every penny of the unlimited long distance.
I call her at least once a day to give her the report of what the night before was like. Did E sleep. How long, how many times did she get, how long was she up, how much did I sleep. And sometimes I'll call her in the afternoon to let her know how the afternoon nap went. Or I'll call her because E did something new, or the poop looked weird, or E did something strange, or acted strange, or sounded strange, or looked strange. I call my mom over everything.
And my mom always has something to say about everything that I call about. It's always encouraging, never alarming, and sometimes funny. She keeps me grounded in a time when I feel as though without someone tugging me back to earth I'd be floating away into outer space because of all the uncertainty and confusion surrounding my life right now. She lets me know what's normal, points out what's PROBABLY normal, and assures me when I think we've found something that might not be normal and it's time to talk to a Dr. But she's there.
And not just on the phone. She's the person I call when I slept for 2.5 hours the night before, and am not sure how I'll make it through the day. She's the person who comes down when I need to get out of the house. And she's the person who comes with me if I want to bring E and have help getting out of the house. She's the person who brought me lunch in the beginning when I couldn't figure out how to care for E and care for myself, and the person who reminded me that I needed to give my own needs a priority as well.
So as I've become a mother, and even more a mother to a daughter, I see my mother in a new light. I appreciate all she did for me when I was a child, and I appreciate all that she does for me now that I have a child, and can only hope that I can be as kind, patient and supportive when it is time for me to be in the same roll with E. Now as a mother, and someday, as a mother of a mother.
Today is dedicated to the Mothers. I hope everyone appreciates what their mothers have given them and remember that they can be a strong support and resource in their lives. But still, does anyone know who dropped the pacifier?
Friday, February 5, 2010
Ambient Temperature
Not fevers or anything like that. Just the ambient temperature in any given room in your house. Do you know what it is? Sure, you set the thermostat, and you can see what the temperature is right where the thermostat is... but do YOU know what the temperature is in all the various rooms of your home?
Now, I know what you're asking, this is a baby blog, what on earth does ambient temperature have to do with anything. Well. EVERYTHING. We've been struggling. If I've heard it before, I've heard it again, and I'll repeat it so that everyone is on the same page "Babies don't come with an owners manual." And, well, we've been trying desperately to figure out what E's been trying to tell us for what seems like months now. And I think I have FINALLY broken the code. And it can now only get better.
I've been puzzling over why it seems that around 2 - 3 E has a horrible meltdown. Big tears rolling down her little face. Crying till she's beet red. Always seemed to happen at nap time. We've blamed everything from the food I'm eating, the formula she's taking, the clothes she's wearing, being tired or even perhaps not being tired. And then suddenly like a bolt of lightening, it happened. The moment of clarity.
Monday E was having a meltdown. It started at about 2 and at 2:30 I was headed for the only thing that I'd found that works. Skin to skin. And step 1 is remove all of babies clothes. So I stripped E down to her diaper. And when all she had left on was her diaper, she stopped crying. Grandma was visiting, we both looked at each other and I said "She's HOT!" She was never sweaty so I never would have guessed it. So I started to change the way I dressed her for nap time, presuming this would resolve my issues. But on Tuesday, I had the same problem. Melting down at about the same time. So finally, out of pure curiosity (and after Grandma's repeated suggestion) I put a thermometer in the Nursery. I was ALARMED. It was a cool day, and the sun wasn't out, and I'd had the Nursery door open. And the room was registering 71 degrees. I suddenly became sure that on a sunny day, that around nap time I wouldn't be surprised to find the temperature at 75. WAY too hot for a baby! Especially a baby dressed for winter!
So I started on my mission. Cooling the room down. I started with opening the window, seemed absurd. It was 20 degrees outside, and yet, when I left a window open in the Nursery it only cooled it a couple of degrees. And then I kept doing the same thing at night, trying to cool it off. Only to realize that at night it was getting into the low 60s. So the room was fluctuating between too cool, and too warm. Now low 60s apparently isn't officially too cool, but I think it's too cool, and it's definitely too cool if you are consequently trying to put E in the Nursery in fewer clothes so she doesn't get hot.
The entire thing came to a peak last night when I got up at about 12:30 and read the thermometer was 63 degrees. WOW, that was cold, so I put another layer on E so she could sleep comfortably. And she nursed and went back to sleep. And I didn't hear from her again till a little bit after 4. And then when I got upstairs, as soon as I walked into the Nursery I was struck by how hot it was. Checking the thermometer it was now 70 degrees. So of course, NOW, she was TOO hot. I took her out of the nursery while we nursed and let her cool down and then opened the window, and left the door open so that it would cool down. All the while, feeling enormously guilty because what if leaving the window open made her too cold? So as soon as the alarm went off at 6, I sent Daddy to go get E. With very specific instructions to close the window, check the thermometer and return to the master bedroom with her. When he got there I asked for the temperature report... (PLEASE don't let it have been too cold, it was only an hour she was in there with the window open). Imagine my shock and alarm when Daddy announced that it was 71 degrees. GREAT! I had a window open, the door open, and it went UP a degree. So clearly THIS wasn't working.
Our final solution has been to shut off the radiator in her room. Which won't be the ideal solution either because then it might get too cold at night. We might try to leave it open just a little bit. We'll see. I also changed all the settings in the house. Reducing the thermostat on the whole house, and letting the temperatures drop for the night at her bedtime instead of our bedtime. Leaving her door open works a little, but isn't practical because then we can't sit in our living room after we've put her to bed. So hopefully we can get this issue under control.
I never saw this one coming! So it goes back to the beginning, babies don't come with manuals. And the reason one is crying does not explain why the other is crying. It's all about deciphering your own babies codes to you.
To Mommies and Daddies everywhere, if your baby won't sleep... check the temperature! And as usual did anyone see who dropped the pacifier?
Now, I know what you're asking, this is a baby blog, what on earth does ambient temperature have to do with anything. Well. EVERYTHING. We've been struggling. If I've heard it before, I've heard it again, and I'll repeat it so that everyone is on the same page "Babies don't come with an owners manual." And, well, we've been trying desperately to figure out what E's been trying to tell us for what seems like months now. And I think I have FINALLY broken the code. And it can now only get better.
I've been puzzling over why it seems that around 2 - 3 E has a horrible meltdown. Big tears rolling down her little face. Crying till she's beet red. Always seemed to happen at nap time. We've blamed everything from the food I'm eating, the formula she's taking, the clothes she's wearing, being tired or even perhaps not being tired. And then suddenly like a bolt of lightening, it happened. The moment of clarity.
Monday E was having a meltdown. It started at about 2 and at 2:30 I was headed for the only thing that I'd found that works. Skin to skin. And step 1 is remove all of babies clothes. So I stripped E down to her diaper. And when all she had left on was her diaper, she stopped crying. Grandma was visiting, we both looked at each other and I said "She's HOT!" She was never sweaty so I never would have guessed it. So I started to change the way I dressed her for nap time, presuming this would resolve my issues. But on Tuesday, I had the same problem. Melting down at about the same time. So finally, out of pure curiosity (and after Grandma's repeated suggestion) I put a thermometer in the Nursery. I was ALARMED. It was a cool day, and the sun wasn't out, and I'd had the Nursery door open. And the room was registering 71 degrees. I suddenly became sure that on a sunny day, that around nap time I wouldn't be surprised to find the temperature at 75. WAY too hot for a baby! Especially a baby dressed for winter!
So I started on my mission. Cooling the room down. I started with opening the window, seemed absurd. It was 20 degrees outside, and yet, when I left a window open in the Nursery it only cooled it a couple of degrees. And then I kept doing the same thing at night, trying to cool it off. Only to realize that at night it was getting into the low 60s. So the room was fluctuating between too cool, and too warm. Now low 60s apparently isn't officially too cool, but I think it's too cool, and it's definitely too cool if you are consequently trying to put E in the Nursery in fewer clothes so she doesn't get hot.
The entire thing came to a peak last night when I got up at about 12:30 and read the thermometer was 63 degrees. WOW, that was cold, so I put another layer on E so she could sleep comfortably. And she nursed and went back to sleep. And I didn't hear from her again till a little bit after 4. And then when I got upstairs, as soon as I walked into the Nursery I was struck by how hot it was. Checking the thermometer it was now 70 degrees. So of course, NOW, she was TOO hot. I took her out of the nursery while we nursed and let her cool down and then opened the window, and left the door open so that it would cool down. All the while, feeling enormously guilty because what if leaving the window open made her too cold? So as soon as the alarm went off at 6, I sent Daddy to go get E. With very specific instructions to close the window, check the thermometer and return to the master bedroom with her. When he got there I asked for the temperature report... (PLEASE don't let it have been too cold, it was only an hour she was in there with the window open). Imagine my shock and alarm when Daddy announced that it was 71 degrees. GREAT! I had a window open, the door open, and it went UP a degree. So clearly THIS wasn't working.
Our final solution has been to shut off the radiator in her room. Which won't be the ideal solution either because then it might get too cold at night. We might try to leave it open just a little bit. We'll see. I also changed all the settings in the house. Reducing the thermostat on the whole house, and letting the temperatures drop for the night at her bedtime instead of our bedtime. Leaving her door open works a little, but isn't practical because then we can't sit in our living room after we've put her to bed. So hopefully we can get this issue under control.
I never saw this one coming! So it goes back to the beginning, babies don't come with manuals. And the reason one is crying does not explain why the other is crying. It's all about deciphering your own babies codes to you.
To Mommies and Daddies everywhere, if your baby won't sleep... check the temperature! And as usual did anyone see who dropped the pacifier?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
E has two hands!
Never fear, this is not a realization I am only coming to now. However, it was a realization that only she came to a couple of weeks ago. And it is becoming increasingly entertaining.
She became obsessed with her right hand about a month ago. And that was a good developmental step, but one day, she focused in on the fact that she did in fact have TWO of them. She studies them very closely. Makes little fists, puts them out flat, puts them in front of her face, and otherwise admires them regularly. A large part of the time she needs to study both of them simultaneously, as though she's not entirely sure that they are independent. But she does in fact have two hands. And once she found both hands, for some reason it was only then that she realized these two hands were good for other things as well. She is now holding on to rattles and waving them around in the air and otherwise playing with little objects that previously did not hold her attention at all. And shortly after she got to THAT point she discovered something even more fascinating... she can put these things in her MOUTH. She chows down on her hands regularly now. You'd think we never feed her. When she decides to suck on them, you can hear this GIANT (and really I do mean GIANT) sucking sound from just about anywhere in the house. And although we still swaddle her up snug as a bug in a rug before bed, now, on rare occasions, I can hear the GIANT sucking sound over the baby monitor. It's a good thing. I thought I didn't want a child who would suck on their finger or thumb. But I've lost enough weight running up and down the stairs putting the pacifier back in, so if she decided to suck on a finger or two... maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing.
So E has two hands. And I decided to really blow her mind by bringing her little tiny feet up into view while I was changing her diaper the other day. And her eyes got HUGE, and she just stared at them. Wiggled her little toes a little and cocked her head to the side. I could only imagine the inner dialogue: "Well look at that, I got two more hands, but those ones are weird shaped, I must be deformed, and what are they doing way down there, and what good are they down there?" I suppose someday the mystery of feet will be exposed to her further. But in the meantime, I figure the occasional peak while she gets her diaper changed is enough to keep her little tiny life interesting.
So I hope everyone appreciates their hands, and remembers that they have feet too. And that once upon a time the introduction of these 4 appendages was the most fascinating thing in the world. And come on! Who dropped the pacifier???
She became obsessed with her right hand about a month ago. And that was a good developmental step, but one day, she focused in on the fact that she did in fact have TWO of them. She studies them very closely. Makes little fists, puts them out flat, puts them in front of her face, and otherwise admires them regularly. A large part of the time she needs to study both of them simultaneously, as though she's not entirely sure that they are independent. But she does in fact have two hands. And once she found both hands, for some reason it was only then that she realized these two hands were good for other things as well. She is now holding on to rattles and waving them around in the air and otherwise playing with little objects that previously did not hold her attention at all. And shortly after she got to THAT point she discovered something even more fascinating... she can put these things in her MOUTH. She chows down on her hands regularly now. You'd think we never feed her. When she decides to suck on them, you can hear this GIANT (and really I do mean GIANT) sucking sound from just about anywhere in the house. And although we still swaddle her up snug as a bug in a rug before bed, now, on rare occasions, I can hear the GIANT sucking sound over the baby monitor. It's a good thing. I thought I didn't want a child who would suck on their finger or thumb. But I've lost enough weight running up and down the stairs putting the pacifier back in, so if she decided to suck on a finger or two... maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing.
So E has two hands. And I decided to really blow her mind by bringing her little tiny feet up into view while I was changing her diaper the other day. And her eyes got HUGE, and she just stared at them. Wiggled her little toes a little and cocked her head to the side. I could only imagine the inner dialogue: "Well look at that, I got two more hands, but those ones are weird shaped, I must be deformed, and what are they doing way down there, and what good are they down there?" I suppose someday the mystery of feet will be exposed to her further. But in the meantime, I figure the occasional peak while she gets her diaper changed is enough to keep her little tiny life interesting.
So I hope everyone appreciates their hands, and remembers that they have feet too. And that once upon a time the introduction of these 4 appendages was the most fascinating thing in the world. And come on! Who dropped the pacifier???
I'm Not Sleepy!
E that is, not Mommy. Has decided that she no longer needs to sleep. Ever apparently. Yesterday E threw me for a loop by messing up her whole entire loose but existent schedule. The one that Mommy depends on to get a few hours of extra sleep herself. But alas, NOT yesterday.
I think I've mentioned before that E usually goes down for an early AM nap. Maybe I haven't, either way, she used to. She'd be up for about an hour and a half, and then down for about 2 hours. Which was great. It was long enough that Mommy could catch some Zzzs herself. Well yesterday E wanted to get up after being down for 40 mins. And was just on strike to go back to sleep. So up we were. I hoped that maybe she was just putting off her long nap. Perhaps we'd be up till 10ish, and then she'd go back down for a couple hours. So I held out. 10 came, and I put E down. She slept for 40 mins again. Then I had to try to get her back down. She fell asleep that time, and was asleep when noon rolled around. Mommy so wanted to just go back to sleep, but since nap time is at 2, it seemed as though it would be a mistake to let her keep sleeping at this point. So we all got up.
So far not TOOOOO bad, Mommy wasn't a total mess. I was so sad to have missed my morning ZZZzzzs, but I thought we'd survive. So at 2 I put E down for her nap. And by 2:30 she was actually sleeping. But alas, starting at about 3:30 she was waking up. And at 4, she made it perfectly clear she had NO intention of going back to sleep. So again, up we got. All I could do was look at the clock, do the math, and think, 3 hours to bedtime, is WAY too much time. So I called Daddy and let him know it was likely going to be a difficult evening.
Good thing I did, by the time Daddy got home, E was on full blown meltdown mode. Usually I can just snuggle her on the couch and she'll take a little cat nap for 30 minutes and that will hold her over until bedtime. But tonight, she A) Didn't want to take a catnap and B) Decided she was done with Mommy and the only person who would do was Daddy. If Daddy held E she would stop crying. She would sit there and look around. They looked out the window, and they tried to play with the cat, Daddy gave E a tour of the house. They did many things, anything E thought would distract her from falling asleep. But finally every couple of seconds her head would droop down and her eyes would close. And then they'd whip open. If she could have given her eyelids whiplash I'm pretty sure she would have!
She didn't make it to bedtime, we started bedtime 15 - 20 minutes early. Daddy gave E her bottle, she drank an oz or so, and then went right to sleep. So that was that... right...? HA! About 20 minutes later she was up AGAIN. I went up to try to get her back to sleep. Upon seeing I was the parent she had gotten and apparently NOT the one she was requesting, she melted down completely. I tried everything. She just wouldn't stop crying. I finally entered the kitchen with E in just her diaper (having tried to take her out of her jammies to get the crying to stop... sometimes it works), and said to Daddy "She's broken, I can't find the off button, She doesn't want me, she wants you." So Daddy went upstairs and it took him about 30 - 45 minutes. But again, he got her back down. YEY!!! Well... she woke up AGAIN another 2.5 hours later. And that time, AGAIN, it took another 30 - 45 mins to get her back down. By 11:30 Daddy and Mommy were exhausted!
So she is clearly at this new phase of development where there is just so much to do, that she doesn't want to sleep. She fights it with astonishing precision, and the results are disastrous. All I could say to Daddy was, thank HEAVENS she was NOT like this on Monday night. Because had she been like that when I was trying to put her down by myself for the first time, it might have traumatized me permanently! Anyway... Today is a new day. I'm trying to keep her awake for longer this morning before I put her down for her nap. But it looks like it's about that time. So hopefully today will be a better day! I'll let you know later!
Stay strong Mommies and Daddies! Who dropped the Pacifier?
I think I've mentioned before that E usually goes down for an early AM nap. Maybe I haven't, either way, she used to. She'd be up for about an hour and a half, and then down for about 2 hours. Which was great. It was long enough that Mommy could catch some Zzzs herself. Well yesterday E wanted to get up after being down for 40 mins. And was just on strike to go back to sleep. So up we were. I hoped that maybe she was just putting off her long nap. Perhaps we'd be up till 10ish, and then she'd go back down for a couple hours. So I held out. 10 came, and I put E down. She slept for 40 mins again. Then I had to try to get her back down. She fell asleep that time, and was asleep when noon rolled around. Mommy so wanted to just go back to sleep, but since nap time is at 2, it seemed as though it would be a mistake to let her keep sleeping at this point. So we all got up.
So far not TOOOOO bad, Mommy wasn't a total mess. I was so sad to have missed my morning ZZZzzzs, but I thought we'd survive. So at 2 I put E down for her nap. And by 2:30 she was actually sleeping. But alas, starting at about 3:30 she was waking up. And at 4, she made it perfectly clear she had NO intention of going back to sleep. So again, up we got. All I could do was look at the clock, do the math, and think, 3 hours to bedtime, is WAY too much time. So I called Daddy and let him know it was likely going to be a difficult evening.
Good thing I did, by the time Daddy got home, E was on full blown meltdown mode. Usually I can just snuggle her on the couch and she'll take a little cat nap for 30 minutes and that will hold her over until bedtime. But tonight, she A) Didn't want to take a catnap and B) Decided she was done with Mommy and the only person who would do was Daddy. If Daddy held E she would stop crying. She would sit there and look around. They looked out the window, and they tried to play with the cat, Daddy gave E a tour of the house. They did many things, anything E thought would distract her from falling asleep. But finally every couple of seconds her head would droop down and her eyes would close. And then they'd whip open. If she could have given her eyelids whiplash I'm pretty sure she would have!
She didn't make it to bedtime, we started bedtime 15 - 20 minutes early. Daddy gave E her bottle, she drank an oz or so, and then went right to sleep. So that was that... right...? HA! About 20 minutes later she was up AGAIN. I went up to try to get her back to sleep. Upon seeing I was the parent she had gotten and apparently NOT the one she was requesting, she melted down completely. I tried everything. She just wouldn't stop crying. I finally entered the kitchen with E in just her diaper (having tried to take her out of her jammies to get the crying to stop... sometimes it works), and said to Daddy "She's broken, I can't find the off button, She doesn't want me, she wants you." So Daddy went upstairs and it took him about 30 - 45 minutes. But again, he got her back down. YEY!!! Well... she woke up AGAIN another 2.5 hours later. And that time, AGAIN, it took another 30 - 45 mins to get her back down. By 11:30 Daddy and Mommy were exhausted!
So she is clearly at this new phase of development where there is just so much to do, that she doesn't want to sleep. She fights it with astonishing precision, and the results are disastrous. All I could say to Daddy was, thank HEAVENS she was NOT like this on Monday night. Because had she been like that when I was trying to put her down by myself for the first time, it might have traumatized me permanently! Anyway... Today is a new day. I'm trying to keep her awake for longer this morning before I put her down for her nap. But it looks like it's about that time. So hopefully today will be a better day! I'll let you know later!
Stay strong Mommies and Daddies! Who dropped the Pacifier?
Monday, February 1, 2010
I'm Not Daddy
I've been talking a lot about being Mommy. And that is all well and good, but I think I got a taste of what it's like to not be the "other" parent. I do most things with E. But there is one thing that Daddy has done with E every night since we brought her home. And tonight, I had to take on this task.
Daddy won't be home in the evening every Monday for a couple of months. And for this reason, and this reason only, Mommy, is taking on bedtime. This doesn't seem like it should be a big deal. But as 7 PM approached I cautiously considered how putting her to bed by myself would go.
It's not that I don't see her at night usually, or even not as though I don't pop in after we put her to bed to put the pacifier in, but Daddy is the main parent for this task. Both Mommy and Daddy get E ready for bed, change her daddy, change her jammies, and then swaddle her up tight. I give her kisses goodnight and then pass her over to Daddy. The two of them sit in the rocker and share a bedtime bottle, and then Daddy rocks her for a while. Once E is either asleep, or ready to get in her crib. Daddy puts her there, and that's that. It's a special time for the two of them, so I haven't ever intruded. I think it's important for the two of them to have this time.
But tonight, Daddy wasn't home, so Mommy had to try to take on bedtime herself. We went upstairs and went about our evening routine. But when we got to the portion of the routine that is primarily Daddy's I felt somehow insufficient. In her little whimpers and cries, I could hear "This isn't how Daddy does it. You're doing it wrong Mommy. I don't want to be held like this. This is the wrong way." And I just felt like somehow I wasn't meeting her needs. It took longer for me to get her down than it takes Daddy. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe it was that it was me instead of Daddy. And maybe next Monday it will go quicker. We'll have to see.
I spend so much time with E. And I know there are times that Daddy is with her that I try to let him know how E likes it done. And suddenly, today, I could imagine how he feels. What it's like to be the parent that doesn't know exactly how it's done. To know exactly how she likes it done. And I suddenly have a new appreciation for how it feels to be Daddy.
So we learned something new today. I'm not Daddy. And as usual, that's ok. It's good to have a Daddy.
I hope all the Mommies remember Daddy, and all the Daddies know that they are needed and loved, and that they hold their own little special place in the little one's lives. And does anyone know who dropped the pacifier?
Daddy won't be home in the evening every Monday for a couple of months. And for this reason, and this reason only, Mommy, is taking on bedtime. This doesn't seem like it should be a big deal. But as 7 PM approached I cautiously considered how putting her to bed by myself would go.
It's not that I don't see her at night usually, or even not as though I don't pop in after we put her to bed to put the pacifier in, but Daddy is the main parent for this task. Both Mommy and Daddy get E ready for bed, change her daddy, change her jammies, and then swaddle her up tight. I give her kisses goodnight and then pass her over to Daddy. The two of them sit in the rocker and share a bedtime bottle, and then Daddy rocks her for a while. Once E is either asleep, or ready to get in her crib. Daddy puts her there, and that's that. It's a special time for the two of them, so I haven't ever intruded. I think it's important for the two of them to have this time.
But tonight, Daddy wasn't home, so Mommy had to try to take on bedtime herself. We went upstairs and went about our evening routine. But when we got to the portion of the routine that is primarily Daddy's I felt somehow insufficient. In her little whimpers and cries, I could hear "This isn't how Daddy does it. You're doing it wrong Mommy. I don't want to be held like this. This is the wrong way." And I just felt like somehow I wasn't meeting her needs. It took longer for me to get her down than it takes Daddy. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe it was that it was me instead of Daddy. And maybe next Monday it will go quicker. We'll have to see.
I spend so much time with E. And I know there are times that Daddy is with her that I try to let him know how E likes it done. And suddenly, today, I could imagine how he feels. What it's like to be the parent that doesn't know exactly how it's done. To know exactly how she likes it done. And I suddenly have a new appreciation for how it feels to be Daddy.
So we learned something new today. I'm not Daddy. And as usual, that's ok. It's good to have a Daddy.
I hope all the Mommies remember Daddy, and all the Daddies know that they are needed and loved, and that they hold their own little special place in the little one's lives. And does anyone know who dropped the pacifier?
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